When The State Of Mind Is Not Right

I would be lying if I told you I didn’t think about abortion. Many things crossed my mind and led me to consider having an abortion. From my career, solo travels, the two of us time with my husband-to-be and the thought of how disappointed my parent is going to be.

I agree. These are very selfish thoughts. Discussed with my fiancé and he was devastated when I told him I was considering abortion. He tried to talk sense into me for days but I was too stubborn and selfish. I caught him crying in his sleep and it hurts to see him like that

To be honest, I did a Google search. Besides removing the fetus surgically, there are home remedies available. Some of the remedies are really an eye opener and unbelievable crazy.

1.       Overdosing on certain supplement

2.       Drinking a certain combination of fruits and vegetable

3.       Focus point massages

4.       Consuming high dosage of  herbs (which eventually lead to blood thinning and several other damages )

5.       Aggressive exercises

6.       Punching own stomach

7.       Spiritually – by negotiating with the spirit of the unborn child.

These are some of the remedies available a click away, shared by individuals without any proven medical records. It’s weird to know how some people tried to kill the fetus by harming their own body. Some effects from the remedies are irreversible.

And then I realized something my insecurity has been blocking off all these while

1.       After what we went through, the kiddo is still strong in the womb. He/she wants to stay and see the world 

2.       I have a very supportive and loving fiancé. He even showed signs of  a doting father

3.       Friends have shared. It’s not the end when a kid comes into our lives. It’s a beginning of something even better

4.       I’ve been given something others have been trying for years. I m one of the lucky ones and I should be proud of it

5.       Those who knew about the pregnancy were happy for us and I SHOULD be happy for myself.

So, I have decided to keep the baby and be a pregnant bride. Just words of advice, when you are in doubt, stay calm and talk to positive friends. I am glad I have my fiancé and friends to clear my mind and helped me see beyond my own insecurity. 

Before I resume bride-ing around, here's a picture of the kiddo in his little sac.