The Gown

Ok. This is another tricky part. You can never find the perfect gown you love to bits unless

- It’s custom made

- You are an extremely lucky bride

So I was looking at wedding gowns and particularly favour those with lace. They just look oh-so-elegant. I begin hunting online (on facebook and forums) for bridal shops for that perfect gown and perfect photographer. Listed a few and passed to my fiancé to check them out during my absence.

Check these out from diva-darling.com and Tara keely(www.jlmcouture.com)

                       

 

After I came back from my business trip, we went for the real hunt. We dropped by a few bridal shops in Petaling Jaya area and found most of them there are just doing it because you-are-getting-married-and-need-a-gown-from-us-because-you-cant-afford-to-buy-one. They avoided few of our questions and I bet they are laying traps for us to pay additional on top of their packages. Or maybe we were unlucky that day to get hold of untrained sale girls with bad attitude.

We stumbled on Lasposa Bridal Shop. Well, actually we didn't stumble. A very beautiful lace bridal gown displayed in their shop stopped my track. We were greeted by who we believe is the boss. Before he even talks about the packages, he asked if I want to check out and try some of the gowns. Which sane bride would turn down that kind of offer??!

So we marched up to the first floor and were greeted by gowns after gowns. Drooled, looked around, picked few and tried them out. Those I picked didn't fit my body well. Sucks! I don’t have  small waistline and my baby bump is growing day by day. But there are few nice ones though.

I asked if I can try out the displayed gown. The lady who served us told us the gown just arrived days ago and it’s for sale at RM5,000 and to rent is RM 2,500. She allowed me to try it on and I was blown away. It’s too gorgeous but I can’t find myself buying it for RM5,000.   

After 2 hours of gown fitting (they are extremely helpful) we were given portfolios of their in-house photographers to look through. They are pretty good and we favoured one particular photographer – Kwong, for his brilliant outdoor photos.

Then the boss, Alvyn gave us a run through on their packages and we signed up on the spot. 

For RM3,*** we will be getting

1.       Actual Day Rental - 3 gowns and accessories (bridal and evening)

2.       Gowns for studio pre wedding photography  - 2 bridal and 2 evening

3.       Make up for Pre wedding Photography (not inclusive of fake eyelashes   and ampoules)

4.       1 x Gown for outdoor pre wedding photography

5.       50 photos – edited and touched up

6.       1 x Framed photo for bedroom (few sizes and frames to choose from)

7.       2 x table frames for parents

8.       4R photos to be given to chi mui, friends, relatives and etc

9.       Wedding Montage

10.   Hand Bouquet worth RM135

11.   Bridal Car Deco

12.   Deco for “Brothers’”car

13.   Corsage

They required a RM1,000 deposit for the actual day gowns and will refund the deposit if the gowns are returned without any damages. Fair enough.

But please do take note if you don’t want to say goodbye to your deposit.

           During morning tea ceremony

1.       Chinese loves to offer prayer. Do open your eyes for still lighted ashes from the burning incense or the candles.

2.       When hopping or jumping off the bridal car, the oil from the car or tar is the one you must watch out for

Dinner Reception

1.       When you are walking around to mingle, do not rush. There are edges (table and chairs or decoratives) that can ruin your gown especially lace or chiffon. Just stay calm and do not rush.

2.       Also watch out for hand accessories, ciggies, red wine, gravy, running children and gown steppers.

I need to be extra careful since I'm not much of a cat-ty person. 

Side Note:

I visited Absolute Bride at Empire Soho (http://www.absolutebride.com.my/) and they have really nice bridal and wedding gowns for rental at a very affordable price. They are also into custom made gown if you have the budget.

I spotted a gorgeous red french laced cheong sam there. Unfortunately for me, they can’t readjust the size of the dress. My only option is to custom made the dress, they will need about 2 months and the Chinese New Year season is not going to speed up the waiting time.

They also do offer wedding photography but it was not something I was looking for.

You can also try checking Yes I Do! on facebook. They custom make bridal and evening gown at a affordable price. But no last minutes request as they get their gowns from China.  

The Menu

Both of us love Chinese food but I never favored Chinese wedding dinner. 

Why?

There are dishes that I absolutely hate – shark’s fin and roast piglet and the lost opportunity for my guests to mingle and catch up.

You see, the 8 course Chinese wedding dinner is very much a controlled dinner. Dishes are served almost immediately when you are done completing the current dish and in sequence

start off with 4 Season Platte ,

then Supreme Soup (of shark’s fin or other expensive seafood),

then Chicken

then Fish

then Piglet/Duck,

then Prawn,

then braised Mushroom/Vege

then Glutinous Rice

and finally dessert

Guests are glued to their seats and made to rush and by the time they completed the 5-6th course they will be too tired to mingle. Trust me, I always feel that way whenever I attend Chinese wedding dinner. Then they will leave right after dinner. So it’s more like show face-eat-leave routine.

In some Chinese restaurants, they even allow walk in customers if you didn’t secure all the tables. Talk about private function *sheesh*.

We wanted our wedding to be a private and casual event. Everybody gets to mingle. Singles get to hunt in their pretty dresses and suit. Distance relatives get to catch up and talk about the good old days. We get to camwhore with our guests and do a bit of catch up. So we picked buffet dinner where everyone can eat their heart out, eat things they like and whenever they like.

Holiday Villa’s International Buffet Menu consists of quite a good spread

12 types of Salad and Appertizer accompanied by 10 types of condiment and dressing

1 soup with freshly baked bun/rolls

10 mains (fish, chicken, beef, lamb, prawn and squid)

1 carvery of roasted premium cut of beef

10 types of dessert

And coffee and tea

Unlimited soft drink.

We have yet to taste the food but the spread does look good. We will get to taste some of the food and make adjustment weeks before the wedding.

As for the beverage, coffee, tea and coke wouldn’t be able to get things pumping so we are bringing in our own "treats".

From our side, we will my fiancé was thinking of setting up a table for Jager Train for his boys, hard liquor for our old men and wine for the ladies.

Food and drinks done. So what else did I missed?

The Venue

Confirming the perfect venue and the availability is a bitchy affair. Popular venues are always pre booked 8-12 months in advance and we only have 3 months to hunt and secure our wedding venue.

I always wanted a garden wedding – dreamy, romantic and casual. I had a casual discussion with my fiancé way before the proposal and pregnancy, he himself favor a much for relaxed and casual dinner where everyone including the bride and the groom can mingle. But when it comes to picking the perfect venue, there are so many things we had to consider.

There are hotels that provide beautiful garden wedding venue. Cyberview Lodge and Equatorial Bangi are lovely choices but the distance may be a something our parents and guests will bitch about for months after the wedding.

There are some KL hotels and restaurants that have garden wedding venue but their sitting capacity is pretty limited and the menu rates are chart high and if it’s not for a wedding, it’s not worth paying for it. Here are some of the venue I came across

1. Casa Jardin - Bungalow but I didnt have much luck securing the details

2. Carcosa Seri Negara, KL

2. Courtyard Garden, Damansara Height - limited capacity. hard for guests to move around 

3. Ciao Restaurant, KL. Italian menu, lovely setting, good capacity. 

4. Villa Danielli, Sheraton Imperial

After going through countless reviews, photos and forums, we found Passion Road in KL. It’s a bungalow convert into a restaurant and specializes in garden wedding. The wedding reception photos posted on forums were breathtakingly beautiful and ooze romance.

Here are some of the links

-Joandra.wordpress.com

-Munkeat

-BTS Creative Planner

Romantic isn’t it? The owner of the place has done a wonderful job in bringing out the right ambiance. My fiancé saw and made an appointment to view the place and discuss on the details. I didn't go as I was tied down with work. On his first visit he loved the vibe and could picture our wedding being held there. We got hold of the wedding menu and it’s pretty reasonable. The food reviews there were mixed – good and bad. There are other optional costs like – more elaborated flower arrangements and rental of outdoor air conditioning units.

Back and forth for a couple of times and we have set our eyes on Passion Road. 

My fiancé was thinking of showing the place to his parents since we will be straying away from the popular chinese wedding dinner, and at the same time pay the required deposit. So we went and checked out the place.

They didn’t like the place.

We were shattered and we thought they were not used to it. His dad pointed out several issues we were too blinded to realize

The parking – limited space and currently manage by third party and the vicinity is surrounded by other restaurants. Our guest will have to fight for parking with other diners. The uneven pavement is not elderly friendly. Not booking and first come first serve basis.

The weather – we have been experiencing unpredictable weather and we may not know if it will be a good calm night or a stormy one.

IF it rains, guests will have a hard time moving from the parking to the restaurant. Even if the place is fitted with tents, our guest may not be able to enjoy themselves if heavy rain happens. They won’t be able to hear us or may be too cold if the rain accompany by strong wind.

IF it a hot and humid night, be prepared to have grumpy guests dying to leave the place. Not forgetting the mosquito and other pesky insects. 

Overall – Parent In Law agreed the place is romantic but it's not classy enough.

We do agree with some of their points. Our relatives may not be as agile as our younger friends and there are visible inconveniences. They asked our permission to check out and request quotation from other venue. And the next day, they came back with a quotation from Holiday Villa, Subang (Efficient or not?) 

Pity my fiancé that he had to bend two ways for this – one is my dream wedding and the other is my PIL’s request. Anyway, the deal offered by Holiday Villa was pretty good. Did a google image search before visiting the place and the venue is not too bad.

We were shown the Victorian Ballroom, the most popular among the 3 other ballrooms there, by one of the in house event planners. Well, we viewed the place under broad daylight and it’s a bit run down. The curtains are a bit dirty and I could see cracks on the wall. But I guess once they dim the lights and if the bride and groom enters the ballroom before anyone could spot the flaws, things will be just fine. My PIL like the place and we just too tired to going back and forth so we agreed with their choice.

PIL – 1, Us - 0. 

Good bye Passion Road. Since I can't have my wedding there, I might plot for a 1st year wedding anniversary party there. 

By the way, for those out there who has ample of time to prepare for your dream wedding, do visit Bridal/Wedding Fairs. You get great offers on hotel or restaurants, bridal shop and even honeymoon. But be prepared to sign packages on the spot and lengthy negotiation with the merchants. Be very clear on what you want for your wedding and make sure they spell out the term and conditions.

Happy hunting
 

Planning Begins - Picking the Wedding Date

Being pregnant under pressure is no fun. We have to sort everything out under a short time frame and at the same time observe and obey the pregnancy dos and don’ts.

The main concern in any Chinese wedding is the date and that was the first thing we tackled. Being a pure blood Chinese, his mom consulted the book of Good Dates for the Year of Snake. That book determines our destiny *roll eyes*. 2^nd March 2013 seems to be the best date to hold the Chinese tea ceremony and it didn’t clash any of our family members’ zodiac. Not a metaphysic graduates so I can’t explain the logic behind it. But it sounds good as we have three solid months to plan and I should still be able to conceal the baby bump

I did consider dealing with the pregnancy first before the wedding but there are a lot of unforeseen circumstances. Firstly, I will be too busy breast feeding and caring for a newborn than to plan for a wedding. Besides, we won’t have enough budget to hire a wedding planner and I still want to get my hands planning for MY wedding.

Then, I'm not sure if I could recover my figure on time for the wedding. Many bridal shop in Malaysia don't have many plus size bridal gowns. Unless I opt for custom made bridal gown which easily cost up to RM800 per piece or RM2500 or more for a more elaborated one.

So wedding first, baby later.

When The State Of Mind Is Not Right

I would be lying if I told you I didn’t think about abortion. Many things crossed my mind and led me to consider having an abortion. From my career, solo travels, the two of us time with my husband-to-be and the thought of how disappointed my parent is going to be.

I agree. These are very selfish thoughts. Discussed with my fiancé and he was devastated when I told him I was considering abortion. He tried to talk sense into me for days but I was too stubborn and selfish. I caught him crying in his sleep and it hurts to see him like that

To be honest, I did a Google search. Besides removing the fetus surgically, there are home remedies available. Some of the remedies are really an eye opener and unbelievable crazy.

1.       Overdosing on certain supplement

2.       Drinking a certain combination of fruits and vegetable

3.       Focus point massages

4.       Consuming high dosage of  herbs (which eventually lead to blood thinning and several other damages )

5.       Aggressive exercises

6.       Punching own stomach

7.       Spiritually – by negotiating with the spirit of the unborn child.

These are some of the remedies available a click away, shared by individuals without any proven medical records. It’s weird to know how some people tried to kill the fetus by harming their own body. Some effects from the remedies are irreversible.

And then I realized something my insecurity has been blocking off all these while

1.       After what we went through, the kiddo is still strong in the womb. He/she wants to stay and see the world 

2.       I have a very supportive and loving fiancé. He even showed signs of  a doting father

3.       Friends have shared. It’s not the end when a kid comes into our lives. It’s a beginning of something even better

4.       I’ve been given something others have been trying for years. I m one of the lucky ones and I should be proud of it

5.       Those who knew about the pregnancy were happy for us and I SHOULD be happy for myself.

So, I have decided to keep the baby and be a pregnant bride. Just words of advice, when you are in doubt, stay calm and talk to positive friends. I am glad I have my fiancé and friends to clear my mind and helped me see beyond my own insecurity. 

Before I resume bride-ing around, here's a picture of the kiddo in his little sac.

Pregnant Bride

The positive pregnancy result was a nightmare itself. Not that I was not happy but it came unplanned. I remember my hands were shaking holding the pregnancy kit and I took a while to regain myself. I had to call him since he was 327km. He was ECSTATIC! You can hear his joy vibrating through his voice but that didn’t lift up my spirit. There were too many things to think about now.

I couldn’t sleep that night and consulted ol’ mighty Google who then directed me to Baby Center (http://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy-due-date-calculator). Baby Center did her calculation and my pregnancy was about 5 weeks. Then I tried to recall what I did. I ran two marathons, I took two long road journeys and I had couple of drinks and the baby stayed on.

I whatsapped two of my closest friends - Phil and Mel. Both advised the same and were supportive. Phil, a shotgun marriage case, highlighted the do and don’ts and he was very against abortion if I'm considering it. Mel being Mel, she knew my mind wasn’t set.

The next morning, I took a bus to where he was working for the weekend. It was the most horrible 5 hours bus ride ever. The signs and symptoms of pregnancy which I never experienced before set in that very morning. From nausea, feeling lethargic to wanting to kill the bus driver for the bumpy ride. Strange to have all these after I know that I’m pregnant. Maybe I had these before but my mind was blocking them off.  

So we met at the bus station. He was still overwhelmed with happiness. We mildly discussed about our future and the following steps to be taken. We agreed to keep the pregnancy news to ourselves and will have our year end wedding brought forward.

So, we have a short time frame to plan for a wedding before I look like a beached whale in white. Whether we will successfully hold our dream wedding or not – I don’t know.

Life is Full of Surprises

Thanks to Facebook, the news of our engagement spread like wildfire.

His family knew about the proposal and his mom was the one who picked the engagement ring. My parents were shocked that we are engaged rather fast, 7 months into our relationship, but they are happy that their daughter is not going to end up as a spinster. 

We didn't have immediate plans for the wedding. We didn't want to do anything yet although I was made to describe the proposal countless times. But I was just glad everyone was happy for us. All we wanted was just to absorb the happy vibes around us like a dry sponge.

Didn't want to side track too far, we continued with our lives. He was busy with his emceeing and motorsport events. I trained and completed my last two runs of 11km run in Powerman and 21km in Penang Bridge Marathon. On and off, I went for my Muay-Thai classes. Everything went normal until one fine day.

I noticed my period was about two weeks late. I didn't suspect anything since I was training really hard and was physically drained for the past few weeks. But just to be sure, I purchased a pregnancy test kit from the local pharmacy.

And the result showed...

The Proposal

Who would have thought?

After seven months of dating, he decided that I am the ideal wifey.  The man proposed!

He brought me to an Italian restaurant for my 30th birthday. After we cleaned up our Salmon Risotto, Calzone & Alle Vongole, he ordered a slice of Molten Chocolate for me to do the customary "make a wish-blow the candle". Just right after I blew the candle, he moved to my seat and dropped his knee.

That instant I knew he wasn't trying to show me how he ties his shoe lace.

He started off with a small speech (not going into details. that’s for me and only me to digest and to remember) and asked the Yes-or-No question.

I lost my ability to control my tear duct and cried a little. Not because my bachelorette life is about to end but the effort he has put into pulling word by word out from his mouth. The macho man was VERY shaky that night.  

I said "YES". 

He tried to slot the ring on my fourth finger and I jokingly told him that I have yet to sign the marriage documents and the middle finger would be a better place to rest the ring for the time being.

The next thing he did was he asked permission to post the good news on Facebook. I nodded and he snapped picture and posted.

Congratulatory messages started pouring in from both side. 

Apparently few of my close friends knew about the proposal but pretended they didn't. Cheeky.

So I accepted his marriage proposal and I will be off the market soon. Next is breaking the news to the parents and planning for a dream wedding.

Hello. Introduction Time

He went down on his knee and gave a tear jerking speech. Then he asked the question. I gave him a big fat "YES"!

So what’s next? Wedding!

It's not an easy task preparing for a wedding but it's not hard to start.

Follow me on my journey and I hope my blog can offer you helpful tips on choosing the right venue to the right gown, on how to "tackle" the in laws and hopefully I will be able to make new friends along the way.

Till then, I will be bride-ing around.

Cheers